Anticlimactic?

Scales by KJGarbuttWeight Update:

Things have been going quite well! I am now down 23 lbs. (I started losing weight on January 15th.) I am still using My Fitness Pal to track my calories and I’m adding in a lot more exercise. As I wrote yesterday, I have started running a little and I’ve also started weightlifting at home.

Two of the questions I keep getting asked are “So, what is your goal?” and “Are you going to keep losing?” The answer to both is the same: I don’t know. For the first time in a couple of decades I am actually in the Healthy section of the BMI chart. I have dropped from a size 16 pant to a 10. Life is good. But I guess I don’t feel like I am “there” yet. I don’t even know where “there” is. I’m kind of playing it by ear. This might sound weird, but I never thought I could achieve what I have now this quickly. I hit my “pie in the sky” maybe-reach-it-in-a-year goal last week. I don’t have a next plan!

My good friend Cee and I have been talking about all this, and I have mentioned that I have a hard time seeing the changes in myself. I know that seems wacky, but it is true.  Okay, I can see it from the shoulders up. Not so much on my arms, maybe, but that’s because I can’t say I have ever paid much attention to them. But I can see the changes across my chest, definitely on my neck, jawline and cheekbones. I can’t really tell in my legs. I know I have lost there, I’m fitting into skinny jeans for the first time ever, but I can’t really see it. Does that make sense? They are the same shape as always, and they’ve always been pretty thin, (compared to the rest of me, anyway.) I will say that I can feel the difference in my legs. They are firmer and I can see the muscles from all the walking I do. My midsection, though, looks the same as always to me. I know it is different, but again, the shape hasn’t really changed all that much, so it just doesn’t look that different to me.

There might be several things going on here: 1) I think I am starting to look like what I always looked like in my head. I think when I pictured myself I have always had a thinner version in my mind’s eye. Now I am starting to match that, which is wonderful, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel all new and sparkly. It’s not a “Wow!” moment as much as “Yep, knew it all along” moment – and honestly, it’s not as crazy fun as I wish it was. 2) This is has really happened quite quickly. Like I said, I never thought I would lose this much in just 3.5 months. I think it will take some time to get used to. At the same time, 23 lbs isn’t all that much. I see folks that have lost far, far more than that. Now they look different! 3) I don’t have a lot to compare to. I wish I could stand the old me and the new me side by side in the mirror. I also kind of wish I had more photos. I haven’t liked photos of myself for a long time, so I don’t have that many, but I am really wishing I took a few of those terrible Before shots you see people post.

This is what I do know: I’m going to keep doing what is working for me. I’m going to keep running and dog walking. I’m going to keep lifting those weights and doing the plank. I’m going to keep tracking calories. In the end, I will just see where all that lands me.

 

Photo credit: KJGarbutt

Advertisements

One thought on “Anticlimactic?

  1. Pingback: Looking Fit | Long View Hill

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s