“You Have To Stop”

This is my "Did you really just say that to me?!?" face.

This is my “Did you really just say that to me?!?” face.

So, in the middle of the office today my boss said to me, “You have to stop.”

“What?!” I asked, thinking he was talking about how many tech bugs I had been assigning to our developer staff.

“Losing weight. I am serious. It isn’t healthy, the way you… you need to stop.”

Fortunately, at that minute we were both heading into meetings, because that meant I didn’t punch my boss. Which is good. I just bought a new furnace. I need my job.

But, I can’t get it out of my mind. I had an urge to show him my food logs on MyFitness Pal and say things like, “Hey, what did you have for breakfast? Pretty sure it was crackers and jam since that’s what you eat every morning at your desk. Today I had polish sausage, ham, goat cheese, a fruit smoothie, cantaloupe, and a cup of coffee… with cream.” (All true, by the way.) I also had the urge to challenge him to a push up contest. He looks pretty fit, but I guarantee I’d smoke ‘im.

He’s my boss, and he’s roughly 20 some odd years older than me, so I know he has kind of a “dad” thing. I am tempted to remind him that I was once married to someone older than him, but that probably wouldn’t help either. Look, I understand that “you have to stop” thing is actually an older, awkward male way of saying “you look good and I don’t know how to process that, or say anything nice, since that might be considered sexual harassment.” I don’t like it, but I get it.

Obviously the face of poor health.

Obviously the face of poor health.

It’s the “it isn’t healthy” part that just ticks me right off. Look, I know exactly how healthy I am. And thanks to this blog, you my dear reader, have a pretty good idea too. But my boss? He has no clue. I know to the ounce what I weight. I know my bone density, my fat percentage and my muscle mass. I know where I fall in various charts and graphs on body weight. I also know exactly how much I eat, what percentage of it is carbs, proteins and fats, and how fast I can run and much I can dead lift.

I know there are concerns about eating disorders, and if he had taken me aside and said, “Hey, are you doing okay? It seems like you are losing a lot of weight, and I am concerned.” I might have been a bit flustered, but not mad. That would have been nice. Calling me out in the middle of the office is not nice.

I also understand that we are looking at a big change here. Not only have I dropped 30 some pounds, but I have also drastically changed the way I dress. I now (*gasp*) wear clothing that actually fits. For a long time I wore 2X clothes on a 1XL body. Now that I like the way I look, I am more comfortable with wearing clothes that actually conform to my body. I’ve been working in the office 14 years, so it’s a big change.

But still… it is so insulting! Like I don’t know how to take care of myself! So, I decided to do something about it, something that would help me laugh it off and shake it off. I went into the ladies loo and took these photos. I want you to see what the look of poor health is so you can identify it and call your friends, loved ones and coworkers out on it. They’ll thank you for it.  Jeesh….

One more quick note – I used to hate photographs of myself. Frankly, I’m still kind of uncomfortable with it, but I read this article: Hate Your Body? Take More Pics! on Everyday Feminism, and decided that I loved the idea of reclaiming my self-image. And you know what? Taking these silly photos and writing this post helped a lot. Thanks!

(Also if you want to read more ridiculous things people have said to me, click the Compliments tag. Sadly this isn’t the first.)

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