Planning My Life – Planning My Career

signs of the futureTwo nights ago I got out a notebook and began jotting down what I want in a future career. I thought about all the things I really like about my present job… and all the things I wish were different. It was a pure brainstorming exercise – I dreamed big and didn’t try to censor myself at all.

I think people (especially us women) tend to narrow goals down to what seems “reasonable.” We don’t allow for “crazy ideas” like, oh, having something within walking distance that also pays a good salary – we expect to have to make sacrifices; one good thing or the other. We don’t allow that we really can have everything. Normally, I’m a master at this – I call it being practical or being realistic, but really, I’m scared to go for broke. Not this time! I am determined to just throw it all out there into the Universe and see what comes back. My final list was a full notebook page long!

After that, I started filling in the following pages. I’m meditating on each of the items I listed. Okay, I want “opportunities for growth” but what does that really mean? I’m putting thought into it and trying to define it for myself. If I start interviewing, I’m going to be evaluating the companies just as much as they are evaluating me. In order to be able to do that, I need to know exactly what I want in a clear and concrete way. Does that make sense?

I’ve also started fleshing out my resume. It’s a lot of work when you haven’t looked for a job for 15 years! In order not to get overwhelmed, I’m tackling it from two directions: first, in the same notebook, I started writing down my biggest accomplishments at work. I’m making a list of all the things I am most proud of – and those will become points on the resume. Secondly, I’m allotting just one half hour a day to work on the actual resume document. If I can work on it for 30 minutes and then walk away, I won’t feel frustrated. Last night I worked on it for awhile, then closed and saved the document. A couple hours later when I was laying in bed, some new thoughts came to me on what I want to include. I think that system is going to make it a lot easier than trying to dive in an knock the thing off all at once.

So, that’s where I am at! My focus on losing weight does seem to be paying off, I have dropped a couple of pounds. Now I just need to keep moving ahead!

Winter Goals

This dog loves the snow! See how much is on his muzzle?

This dog loves the snow! See how much is on his muzzle? That’s by choice.

I mentioned awhile ago that I might be going through some career changes soon. In fact, I am still happily working at the same company I’ve been at for years, but I’m getting the feeling it is time to start thinking about other things. Currently, I am making a list of priorities and deciding what it is that I really want – and what will further my career goals. I’m going to dream big and figure out what it will take to make that happen.

I’ve decided that one of the first things I will be working on is my weight. I’m still up a little higher than I want to be, and I haven’t been working out like I should. Why concentrate on my weight when I am thinking about my career? Well, when I am working out regularly, lifting weights and eating right, I feel great. I feel strong, confident, resilient, open to new challenges and taking risks. That is exactly the attitude I need to take the world by storm. Instead, I’ve been feeling complacent, lazy and unmotivated – the exact opposite of what I need!

I am not quite as enthusiastic as he is.

I am not quite as enthusiastic as he is, although I was actually smiling in this photo… not that you can tell.

Since I’ve decided to move my one year anniversary to Valentine’s Day, I also decided that for the next couple of weeks I am really going to throw myself into working out. On Sunday I walked Hermes 45 minutes in the morning and another 55 at night – through heavily snow packed sidewalks. I was going to lift Monday morning, but ended up shoveling snow for a half hour instead – which really was some serious weight lifting. (We have so much snow right now that there is nowhere to go with it – each shovelful requires an overhand throw!)

My other goal is to write as much as I can. I’m trying to figure out how much I want to divulge here on the internet, but I also know that this blog is one of the things that helps me focus. So, you’ll probably be hearing a lot about what I am thinking and going through.

For right now my goals are:

  • Get back to 135 – 133 lb. range. That’s where I feel the best.
  • Put together a list of the skills I have – and the ones I wish I had.
  • Do some brainstorming about future careers. What do I really want to be when I grow up?
  • Write regularly, if not every day, then as close to it as I can.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

 

More Thoughts on a Magic Exercise Pill

These would be a thing of the past...

These would be a thing of the past…

After I wrote the post about the magic pill yesterday, I found myself continuing to thinking about it later. I’ve come to a new conclusion: I think if such a pill were invented, more people would exercise, not less. Just in case you missed my post yesterday, here is the thought experiment that Caitlyn at Fit and Feminist posed:

and so I wondered, if medical researchers were to develop a pill that could provide all the physical health benefits of regular exercise, and that pill had no side effects, and it was as inexpensive as a bottle of aspirin – would I still continue to be as physically active as I am? []

First of all, I think nearly everyone would take this pill. Oh, there would be a few holdouts, there always are, but if there was a pill that would allow people to either lose weight or maintain a healthy weight, plus gave all the all the other physical benefits of exercise, that would be reason enough – even for the naturally thin and healthy. The question though is, would people still exercise, and I think not only would they still exercise, far more people would give it a try.

I mean, we all know exercise is good for us, so why don’t we do it? In my opinion the big three reasons are 1) It’s boring, 2) I’m not motivated enough and 3) the inner rebel that hates to do anything we “have to do.” There are other reasons of course, but I’d say these are some of the most common. Now, let’s introduce the magic pill:

Boredom: I think the very first thing to go would be repetitive exercise, (except in specific situations.) Things that people dread because they are monotonous: the treadmill, elliptical, stationary bikes and so on would start to die out almost immediately. The exception would be training tools for athletes, hard core cyclists might still use trainer bikes, runners might still use treadmills in bad weather and so on. But overall? These things would become the next buggy whip.

Gyms would have to start changing their strategy. Right now they succeed in part because people feel they “should” go. If you take away the “should” you are going to have to make it so that people “want” to go. How can you do that? By making it fun. Of the exercise I said I would keep doing, one of the biggest reasons was because it is fun. I think Crossfit gyms understand this. They have elements of friend competition and badassery that make it fun. I can think of lots of ways Gyms could become more fun. So… if they make exercise fun, then it becomes fun to exercise, not boring.

I’m Not Motivated Enough: I think there are two levels of motivation here. There is the, “Meh. I don’t really feel like going for a run today,” sort of malaise that even elite athletes feel sometimes, and then there are the huge debilitating factors that those who are overweight face. I’m not concerned about the “meh” factor too much, I’ll talk about why in the next point. What I want to talk about is how hard it is to exercise when you are overweight.

Now, we all know that no matter where people are or how they feel, they can do some form of exercise. However, in order to do so may involve dealing with public shame, physical disabilities, and limited access. This is why anyone who is overweight and gets out there and exercises is an automatic bad ass and my hero. Let’s break this down a bit and look at it a little closer:

Public shame: Working out when you are out of shape and overweight can be embarrassing. I’ve been told that people at the gym really don’t pay attention to other people and everyone is there to deal with their own stuff. That may be perfectly true, but really, it doesn’t matter. There is a reason that all of my exercise (especially when I first started) was done alone, at home. If we had a pill that could help everyone get to more or less the same healthy body weight, this shame could be lifted.

Physical disabilities: Being overweight can make it really, really hard to work out. I wasn’t that overweight, (5’6”, 170+ lbs) but even for me, it was difficult. Here’s a kind of embarrassing example: I’ve mentioned before that at my heavier weight I was pretty busty. That means that any sort of activity that involved running or jumping was not only awkward, but really uncomfortable. It’s a small silly example, but you can see where I am going. Folks with weight issues also frequently have other medical problems that make exertion hard. Again, to use myself as an example, I have had asthma since I was a child. While I still have it, it has definitely improved since taking off 35+ pounds. Take these examples and extrapolate out – and you see why I think people with weight issues who work out are bad asses!

But wait, there’s more!

Limited access: Do you know what kayaking, rock climbing, biking, gymnastics and skiing all have in common? They are great exercise, lots of fun …and they have weight limitations. Many other sports don’t have specific weight limits, but they are there nonetheless. I’m thinking of things like group sports. Sure, there might not be a specific rule, but that line is there anyway. The magic pill would eliminate it. Sure, some folks (like myself) would still be uncoordinated and lousy at sports, but they wouldn’t be uncomfortable trying them due to their body shape. I’ll tell you, I really dislike group sports, but you would have a much better chance at talking me into a game of volleyball now than you would have 35 some odd pounds ago.

The inner rebel: We all have an inner James Dean that hates the idea of doing anything we “have to” do. But if we take away the guilt with the magic pill, we make gyms and other recreational activities fun and accessible to all, this just disappears. Not everyone is going to run out and start doing Crossfit or take a Kickboxing class, but all the folks who have always been curious about it but afraid, now can jump in.

I know the magic pill is just a thought experiment, but what a wonderful thing that would be for everyone.

Photo credit: Holiday Inn Express on flickr

Thought Experiment: Would You Exercise if You Didn’t Have to?

PillsThere is a really cool conversation going on over at Fit and Feminist on her post: If You Could Have Good Health From A Pill Would You Still Exercise? Go check out her post and be sure and read the comments. I have kind of mixed thoughts, (and because it is me, they are also long and wordy) so I thought I would post them here. Here’s a quick excerpt from the thought experiment she posed:

…and so I wondered, if medical researchers were to develop a pill that could provide all the physical health benefits of regular exercise, and that pill had no side effects, and it was as inexpensive as a bottle of aspirin – would I still continue to be as physically active as I am? []

I love the idea behind this, and if a pill as she described could be invented, I’d be all for it. I think it would change the lives of a lot of people. But the question is, would I take such a pill?

I think about this question a lot actually. Quite often I’ll be in the middle of some kind of exercise and think, “if this didn’t help burn calories or my health in any way, would I still do it?” My answer depends on what I am doing. For example:

Kayaking: A definite “HECK YES!” I love kayaking for many reasons; that it’s a great work out for my arms and shoulders is just icing on the cake. I love being outside, on the water, and feeling the freedom that comes with piloting a tiny one person boat.

Biking: Yep! My bike is my land kayak.

Walking: Mostly yes. I walk for many other reasons than exercise. I walk to clear my head, get fresh air, and to find peace. I also walk because my dog needs regular daily exercise. However, if I had a huge fenced in yard, and I could take the magic pill, I probably would cut down on the time I hit the sidewalks. I most likely would give up my 6:30AM walks, but I would keep my lunch hour strolls when I need to get out of the office. I’d probably still walk in great weather, but I would give up walking in ice storms, thunderstorms and blizzards.

Weight Lifting: Maaaayyyybe. I love the way weight lifting makes me look. I really like what it does for my arms and shoulders, in particular. I’m assuming the magic pill would not build muscle, so if I wanted that look, I’d have to lift. I like lifting, and when I do it, I feel like a total badass. However, it takes time that I would really love to have back. I would be hard pressed (ha!) to keep up with it, I think.

Running: I’d give it up in a New York minute. It has advantages – I love the stamina that I gained by running regularly. And again, I felt like a badass when I ran… and in my goal to become a superhero, running is important, but if it didn’t also burn calories and make me feel like I was improving my health? Nope, no way.

Here’s why I think I would take the pill: I love the way that I feel now that I am roughly 40 pounds lighter, but I am petrified about going back up. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, there are a whole lot of people out there – many of them smarter and with more will power than I have who have lost weight, only to regain it a few years later. If I could take a pill and erase that worry, I would do it in a heartbeat. 

… but I would still exercise too!

 

 

Photo credit: Victor on flickr

 

It’s My Anniversary! (But I Don’t Have Time for it!)

on the scale.jpg.jpgToday is my anniversary. On January 15th of last year I decided to start doing something about my weight. On this day last year I started using MyFitnessPal and began figuring out how to lose some of my extra poundage.

I really wanted today to be special. I wanted to write a long post about where I have been and what I have been through. I’ve been planning it in my head for weeks – but life doesn’t always go as expected. I mentioned that I have a lot going on in my job right now, and frankly, I am still up to my eyeballs in it. I hired a brand new employee who will be starting Friday while at the same time I have to be prepping for a trade show, not to mention new management above me and a whole bunch of other changes – let’s just say that it’s a lot on one little plate!

Since I don’t want to give up the chance to write about my journey this year, I’ve decided to move my anniversary. That’s right, it’s my anniversary and I can move it if I want to! If I can’t have today, I have another date in mind:

The trigger last year was a doctor’s appointment. I’ve had asthma since childhood and this was a routine check-up and prescription refill. Actually, it went really well. I haven’t needed to change anything in years – my meds stay the same. In the course of congratulating me for keeping my asthma under control, the doctor also mentioned that I was the same weight I was seven years prior, when I first started seeing him. He meant it as a compliment, but it got to me. It was the exact moment I realized that if I kept going exactly the way I was, I would stay the way I was, but if I wanted something different, I needed to do something different.

Seems obvious, doesn’t it?

It hadn’t been, though. On January 15, 2013 I took the first step and downloaded an app to track calories. I also made a commitment to myself to try. This year has been the result.

I have another yearly appointment with that same doctor coming up, on Valentine’s Day, nonetheless. That seems like a perfect anniversary! Over the last year, I’ve found a lot of love for myself I hadn’t had before. So, I am using the next month to clean up my work schedule a bit, even things out a bit, and in a month, I’ll be ready to write that anniversary post.

In the meantime, I might be a little scarce over the next couple of weeks, but I am still here and I have lots and lots to write about!

This is Your Brain on Stress

Brain overload

Basically, this is my brain.

It’s been a strange week here in Long View Hill land.

I mentioned that there are changes happening at our office. We have a new executive here who will eventually, if all goes well, be our boss. For now, he’s been brought in at roughly my level. This has caused all my fellow upper managers (who are all men) to start acting like silverback gorillas. There’s been all sorts of posturing, roaring and beating of chests as they try to prove who’s the cleverest. For one of my coworkers, his roaring consists of walking in circles, humming tonelessly and singing “do do DEE dooo…” over and over. It’s not a very effective roar, but it’s what he’s got. As you can guess, it’s messing with the energy in the office and everyone is jumpy and on edge.

Normally, I would be drawn into this sandbox too, (and I fight dirty,) but I have other fish to fry. One of my employees is leaving – she’s up and moving out-of-state – and I have a very short time to fill her rather fabulous shoes. I posted the position online and had over 80 responses in 24 hours.* So, I’ve been phone interviewing, setting up face-to-face interviews, writing rejection emails and just generally trying to keep all the balls in the air. All day long I am listening to what candidates say, trying to figure out what they aren’t saying, asking lots of questions, and making decisions. My brain is in overdrive and at the end of every day this week it’s turned to complete mush. In fact, when New Executive came over and asked if he could meet with me, I said “Nope. Not today, not tomorrow, and probably not next week either.” Maybe not my most politic move, but an honest one. Besides, if he wants to pick my brain, he needs to do it when there is a brain there to pick.

On top of all this, I took a seminar on Thursday on one of the big web-based software packages we use. Overall, it was a pretty good class. I think that it will really help me in my day-to-day job, and if I need to move on, it’s a skill I will be able to use elsewhere. I’m really glad I took it, but of course, it came during this week and it was a lot of thinking, remembering and learning new skills. More brain mush. Now, it’s like oatmeal.

And I hate oatmeal.

Oh, and did I mention that in two weeks I have to go out of town for a trade show? And this is normally the week we prep for it?

Yeah…

One good thing so far is that the weather is now a balmy 20 degrees, so I’ve been able to do full, long walks with the pooch. The ice and sub zero temps were forcing us indoors, but the last couple of days we’ve done real walks and it’s really helped. Funny, exercise is what I want to do the least when I am stressed, but it is also the one thing that really makes a difference. Long walks help in particular because I can work through thoughts, sort stuff out and categorize the day. I like that.

I started this blog because I wanted to figure out a life’s journey for myself. I thought I would have plenty of time to think about it and work towards it, but I am getting the feeling that 2014 is going to be a even bigger year of change than 2013 was!

 

 

* Favorite names of applicants: Precious, Precious, (yes, there were two of them), Diamond, Lacy, Charee and Charlsie. I’ve decided to hire them all and start a girl band instead! We will be awesome.

 

Photo credit: State Farm on flickr

Just an Update

I’m in part of the Midwest that is getting hit by all this winter weather. It’s cold and when we aren’t getting ice, we’re getting snow (and lots of it.) I’m not really complaining. I know it’s all just part of winter in the north, but I admit, I am starting to look forward to spring.

He looks like a crocheted traffic cone.

He looks a little like a crocheted traffic cone, don’t you think?

People had been saying it was going to be a bad winter all last fall. I didn’t really believe it, or rather, I just figured it would be the same as last year – no snow until Christmas, a wintery January and then right back into a dreary spring. That’s certainly not the case this year!

One of my coworkers knitted Hermes a sweater. I am usually anti-clothes for my dog, but as I write this it is -4 degrees with a -20 degree wind chills. So, a sweater it is. My coworker knows I am always concerned about visibility so she made it Hunter Orange. I’m not sure he is much more visible at night, but he certainly won’t be mistaken for a deer.

He doesn’t mind the weather at all. Honestly, he doesn’t mind much at all. All he really cares about is: food, walks, and fireworks. The first two he loves, the last one he hates. If a sweater means food and a walk (he gets a treat for putting it on nicely,) then he’s all for it.

Seriously, he loves this weather. Moments after this was taken he dove head first into a snowbank.

Seriously, he loves this weather. Moments after this was taken he dove head first into a snowbank.

Me? I’m having a little bit of a harder time. There is so much snow on the sidewalks that parts are almost impossible to pass through. A walk that usually takes 15 minutes took me over 40 the other night. Then, just as I am ready to call it quits, figuring it’s not weather fit for man nor beast, some runner comes striding past me …in tennis shoes and running clothes, nonetheless. (I bundle up like I am heading out on a North Pole expedition just to get the mail.)

I won’t lie, I’ve thought of pelting them with snow balls.

…it’s too cold though, the snow doesn’t stick together.

Me? I’m not working out, (other than snow slogging with the dog and snow shoveling,) and my weight is up a bit. Ironically, I made it through Christmas just fine, it was the days following the holiday that did me in. Ah well, every day I wake up and think, “Okay, today is the day I will do this. I will refocus.”

One of these days it will be.

 

Be Patient

Quote

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 – 1926)

Locked by Stephen Wolfe

 

 

Photo credit: Stephen Wolfe on flickr